First look...first touch...
The eyes of the lost soul stared at me for minutes. None of us could react for some minutes and we just kept watching each other, not believing that we are real. We were not hearing the crowd around us, but we were searching each others hand...First the small fingers started playing and all the fireworks in the World exploded inside me in the second when I felt his touch...For months now I have imagined how it would be...his touch...his skin...his smell...the first limit was broken...
Sharing the bed for the first time...first kiss...
Your arms around my hips...your lips...your hand going gently up on my back...your fingers in my hair...your tongue...the smile...I was trying to keep my tears of happiness from falling. Scared not to scare you...Afraid not to do much more than you want me to do....None of us could stop...none of us could push the other one away...We'd kissed, and smiled during kissing and hugged and smiled again and talked and caressed each other...It seemed as if we were trying to get back in 24 hours what we've missed in the last 3 months...
I don't remember when I fell asleep...I only remember that I did it for the first time in your arms...I felt us merging and making one. And I never wanted to wake up again....
The first morning....
You trying to sleep...me drinking the coffee with Sis and still wondering if it is real. I came back in bed near you...again in your arms, again letting my head rest on your chest. Your wonderful smile was making me feel I am in Heaven. Never before had I wanted so much to wake up every morning near the same person. Never before have I wished to have kids with somebody, not only because my maternal feelings are developing but because I think that this would be the ultimate bond between us. The confirmation of our love...The hours were passing by...We felt no hunger though every hour we were planning to dress up and go out for lunch...But it was too good to move...Too good to end it. I said 'I love you' without any effort...it just came to me natural, obvious, easily as I was looking in your eyes...I've seen waves of happiness growing inside you...
The leaving...
The silence had covered us. What could I have said more? I didn't want you to leave. I didn't want it to end...Both in the subway, trying to hold back tears and the pain inside me. Like thousands of knifes stabbing me. Physically, everything hurt...I had wished I could just hang on you and never have to go away. Shaking, sad, having the feeling that nothing can go well without you. But somehow your eyes, your smile, your kisses made me strong and confident. I knew that that was just the beginning. One last kiss, one last smile, one last "I love you"...I ran on the stairs and called a friend to make sure that I will keep on talking and not start crying in the middle of the street. From the second you left, I started counting the days until we had to meet again...and they were only 4...though it seemed an eternity...
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