Question....

Where shall I go? To the left where nothing's right? To the right where nothing's left? Or just stick in the middle and keep hoping that at some point I will receive some kind of sign ? Or that somebody will ask for me from one of the sides ? 

The is no more straight way forward. Left or right ? Good or bad ? Sinner or saint ? I am frozen and empty...there are no more tears to cry, just a deep internal shout that is trying to get out but it just can't. I am erasing dreams and illusions. Exactly as I would take a scalpel and make a 10 cm incision on the middle of my chest, pulling out my soul. 

I cannot move my legs in any direction...I try to make baby steps but I just keep on falling and hurting myself. I am searching the sky with wide opened eyes, hoping that the rain that falls on my face will wash everything...I feel pain and sadness...I feel the end and the impossible. I am thinking right but I am feeling left. 

Yes, I can survive without butterflies...but it's useless and colorless. I am not feeling safe in your arms anymore...but I still hold on you. I know I have to go. I know that this time it is impossible...And still...

I am still smiling when you smile. I am still dreaming butterflies. I am still missing you when you're gone...I am still..loving you more and more, without boundaries or limits, without right or wrong, without should or shouldn't, without reason and without hope...So tell me, now, where shall I go? Left...Right...